The World According To Owen Colgan: Part I

Please welcome this weeks guest columnist and the newest crew member of The Boneyard. You may know him as “Buzz” from the classic tv comedy series, Hardy Bucks. Or you may know him as an online motivational fitness guru and meditation expert. Perhaps you’ve witnessed his viral videos and laughed so hard you just had to throw up. He goes by the name of Owen Colgan, and he is not to be messed with. He’s decided he needs to hit us all with some hard facts on reality. He’s not messing around. This man clearly means business. In the first of a two-parter, he takes us deep into the inners of his kitchen, and discusses the complexities of the relationship between two of our most cherished appliances: the microwave and the air fryer.

Over to you Owen…


“Once upon a time, the mighty microwave ruled the kitchen like a superstar. It strutted in with the swagger of ten David Ginolas and the efficiency of a German block layer, ready to revolutionize our cooking game.

Microwaves were the superheroes of high water content foods, shaking those water molecules like nobody’s business. But then, out of nowhere, the air fryer crashed the party, bringing an unprecedented level of crispiness. It became the kitchen’s new heartthrob. Yet, let’s not abandon the microwave, like a forgotten grandma stuck in the attic of our memories.

Oh, the convenience we dismiss! Those meals heated up in minutes, rescuing needy slices of pizza and reviving cold cups of tea. Two minutes in the microwave, and bam! The best damn cuppa you’ve had in ages.

But alas, we’ve become strangers to this loyal kitchen companion. The younger generation doesn’t even know how to defrost a chicken. They’ve moved on. The air fryer stole the spotlight, toasting and frying our munchies to perfection. It’s the cool new friend everyone wants to know. Granny’s microwave expertise? Nah, nobody cares.

Let’s remember the fallen heroes, those who sacrificed themselves on the kitchen altar. The microwave shall be a mere memory to the next generation. But to me, it’s a gateway to a warmer, hopeful, and peaceful world. So go ahead, embrace the air fryer frenzy. But never forget, the microwave blazed the trail so the air fryer could sprint forward!”

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